Drowning
by BeyondTheClouds777
Summary: Astrid's thoughts during the drowning scene in my fanfiction "To Swim Anew."


**This was requested by the great Jesusfreak (Guest), who was wondering what Astrid's thoughts were during chapter 2b and 3 and slight 4a of my story "To Swim Anew." If you haven't read that story, I mean, you can still read this, but it'll probably make little to no sense unless you know the before and after events. So, yep, here ya go. Jesusfreak, this is for you. :D **

I am thrown down to the deck and scramble to regain my balance again, but the boat only continues to rock. I watch as Hiccup races to one side of the boat and looks down in the water. By his facial expressions, what he found isn't good.

The boat shudders again. I almost scream for Hiccup to get away from the edge, but Toothless beats me to it.

"We should drop the anchor, just so we don't get too much off course!" Fishlegs shouts. I am just about to volunteer when Hiccup offers "I'll do it!" and races over to help toss the anchor overboard. Snotlout joins him, and together, the two toss it over the side of the boat.

I sigh a breath of relief, but it is short lived. Hiccup is pulled off the side of the boat by something I'm not sure.

"Hiccup!" I scream, racing over to the side. I look down into the water. Nothing. Nothing at all. I am just about to jump in when Toothless beats me to it, diving into the water. I still try to jump, but Snotlout holds me back.

"If Toothless can't save him, neither can you!" Snotlout exclaims angrily, but I can hear the worry behind his voice. Hiccup is his cousin, after all. Not only that, but they're friends. "No use giving Toothless two people to save!"

I know he's right, but part of me wishes he is wrong. _I _want to go in there and save Hiccup. _I want to_. But I know Toothless is the best choice, so I leave it to him.

We wait in silence for five minutes. _Five. Whole. Minutes_. I expect them to resurface at any time. I expect them to both be alright. But I can't. Five minutes. It would take a miracle.

Then, my heart leaps to my throat when I see Toothless resurface, pulling the limp body of his rider with him. We all scream in shock and race over.

"Hiccup!" I shout. Then I realize something terrifying. "He's not breathing!"

Snotlout pushes me out of the way and folds his hands over Hiccup's chest. I feel tears run down my face as Snotlout pushes down, following a rhythm.

"Do something!" shouts Fishlegs.

Snotlout tries, and nothing. He tries again, and nothing. Just when I'm sure we are too late, Hiccup starts coughing. He turns over and coughs up seawater before flipping onto his back again.

We all sigh with relief. He's not dead. But then I notice something wrong. A crimson liquid seeping through his chest armor...

The reaction is obvious. I can't speak suddenly. Snotlout suddenly shouts, "Get some gauze! Quick!" Tuffnut races away instantly to get said object.

Hiccup tries to sit up, but Ruffnut pushes him back down.

"_Don't _move!" she orders.

I'm still frozen in my position. I can't move, as much as I want to. I can't even speak. I'm so shocked on what just happened.

Tuffnut returns just an instant later carrying gauze. Snotlout turns to me and hisses, "Are you gonna help me or NOT!?"

I shake my head to knock myself out of my daze and rush forward. I grip Hiccup under his arms and lift him half-way. He screams as Snotlout wraps the gauze around his chest, and I cry silently, wishing there was something I could do.

"We have to get him back to Berk!" Snotlout shouts.

"Yeah we do!" shouts Tuffnut, just as loud as Snotlout.

"I'll take him!" I volunteer. "I can fly Toothless!"

I jump on the Night Fury's back. Snotlout picks up his cousin and hands him to me. Then, Toothless turns in the direction of Berk, and blasts into the sky.

"We'll meet you there!" Fishlegs calls out just barely loud enough for me to hear him. I hold Hiccup a little tighter as Toothless flies as fast as he possibly can towards Berk. Tears run down my face, and I can't stop them. I try, and I fail.

"A-as-tr..id," I hear Hiccup whisper. I look down to see he had opened his eyes a crack. It breaks me though, and I shake my head.

"Don't speak, please," I beg. I am worried it could make it worse, if that is even possible. Also, it makes me cry harder when he speaks. I sob, trying to keep them silent, but Hiccup hears them.

"What..._happened_?" he asks in a broken voice. "Who-s...'urt?"

He doesn't know what happened, I realize. I wouldn't either if we had switched places.

"Hiccup," I breathe, trying to keep my tears at bay long enough to reassure him. "We'll be home soon, okay? I promise."

He closes his eyes and leans against me heavily, but I can tell he's not sleeping or unconscious, because his breathing is uneven. I push Toothless to go faster, but he's already at his top speed, which is actually a lot faster than I'm used to.

When we near Berk, I nearly cry with joy. We land in the plaza and are instantly surrounded by a crowd of people, demanding to know what happened. I ignore all of them and shout for Stoick.

Actually, I don't need to. He has already raced forward. He gasps when he sees Hiccup, limp and unresponsive in my arms.

"Hiccup," he breathes. He rushes forward and takes him from me and instantly races off to the healer's house. I dismount Toothless and follow him as close as I possibly could, Toothless doing the same.

Stoick gets there before me and the dragon. When I burst through the door, I see he had already laid Hiccup down on one of the sick beds and was by his side. I covered the distance between the two of us and grasp his hand. Gothi steps forward and starts undoing the bandage. Hiccup screams, and I start crying again. I can't help it. I can't stand seeing him in pain.

I hear Gobber shouting to other villagers to step away and that it doesn't concern them. Stoick is trying to calm Hiccup down, but he screams again, and then goes limp. Out cold.

"WHAT HAPPENED!?" Stoick shouts, putting one hand on Hiccup's forehead. I don't answer. Gothi motions us out with her hands, and we listen, although we definitely don't want to.

After we finally manage to get Toothless out, we wait outside the healer's hut, staring blankly at the ground with deadpan expressions. Finally, Stoick speaks up.

"What happened?" he asks.

I draw a breath and open my mouth to answer, but no words come out. It dawns on me that I really don't know exactly what happened after he went under.

"I...I don't know," I admit, rubbing my hands together for just a second. "He was dragged underwater...and...he was under for five minutes, Stoick. Toothless dived in after him, but...I don't know what happened under the waves." I pause and choke back a sob.

"You don't have to go on if you don't want to," Stoick says. "You could tell me later." I don't argue. I don't want to continue speaking although some part of me tells me I should. I know Stoick is worried like one wouldn't imagine. _I'm _worried like one wouldn't imagine.

"He almost died," I say. "When they resurfaced, he wasn't breathing. It..." I shake my head. "It was the Red Death all over again. It was the lightning incident replayed a second time. I couldn't...I couldn't hardly move. He was so close to death, I'm surprised he didn't actually meet it head on."

"Hiccup will do that," says Stoick. "He'll surprise you. It's like he's playing cat and mouse with death. It's...I hate how he does it."

I nod. "Me too," I say. "I can't stand it."

...

A little later on, Hiccup is moved from the healer's house to his own house. He's still unconscious, but maybe it is for the best. That way he doesn't feel any of the pain I know he's going through.

I sit outside with the other dragon riders two days later. Toothless and Stoick are inside. I want to be inside, too, but I don't think I could handle it without breaking out into a sobbing fit again.

I am Astrid Hofferson. I shouldn't be so worried and just plain old, genuinely scared, but I am. I am, and I hate it.

"This is all my fault," I say absently.

"No, it's not," Snotlout says. "I'm the one who planned the blasted trip in the first place."

"Actually, _I _was the one who suggested it," says Fishlegs. "It's technically my fault."

"Well yeah, but we were the ones who asked Stoick about it," says Tuffnut, speaking on behalf of himself and his sister. "It's our faults."

"I'm the one who talked Hiccup into it," I say. "I shouldn't have pressed him. I should have just taken the fact that he didn't want to go, and left it at that, but no. I had to make him feel like he was forced to go. I...why didn't I just say 'Okay, you don't have to go if you don't want to'?"

"No one knew this was going to happen," says Stoick as he walks out of the house, Toothless in tow. I jump. I thought he was inside? "You shouldn't go blaming yourselves."

"How's he doing?" I ask, just because I'm worried.

"Nothing different," Stoick answers. "He's still out cold."

"Really, Chief, it's our fault," says Tuffnut.

"No one's blaming you," says Stoick. "Hiccup wouldn't."

Stoick turns around again and walks back into the house with Toothless following closely behind. I turn to the others and look them straight in the eyes.

"I feel awful about all this," says Snotlout, sitting down and putting his head in his hands. "I feel like it's my fault."

"You _saved him _after Toothless brought him back out, Snotlout," I say. "Look, I just wanted to tell you..." Am I really going to do this? "...thank you." There. I said it. No use backing down now, so I continue, "You...you were so calm, and I needed that. We...I was panicking. If it weren't for you, we would be having Hiccup's funeral right about now."

"I've been a jerk of a cousin to him, though," Snotlout says. "His whole life I've been a jerk of a cousin. The only time I actually treat him like family, or even a friend, is when his life is in danger."

"That's true," I say, "but it doesn't have to be true, Snotlout. Weather you accept it or not, thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Snotlout turns to me and smiles. I smile back, but then I hear Stoick's voice from inside the house: "Oh, that reminds me," he says, "you have some friends who want to see you."

We all exchange glances, and then bolt into the house almost as fast as lightning. We walk through the doorway, and cry out in unison, "Hiccup!"


End file.
